New mind/ new beginning

The importance if transferable skills discussed in the below article on LinkedIn. In an ever changing economic market the needs of businesses world wide are changing.  So the skills employers require are changing to. When I studied my first degree more than 20 years ago, specialism seemed to be the word of the day.  Whatever subject you chose you had to find employment to fit that specialism.  My first degree in Theology and I did want to be ordained however after completion of my degree, I was deemed to be too young by the church to start my journey as a minister.  Go away and come back when you have gained more life skills they said.  Subsequently 20 years later I am a registered nurse with a bucket load of life skills, mortgage, wife and children. Financially I would not be able to train to be a church minister if I wanted to.   I have however gained business skills such as sales, marketing and investing from lots of short courses I have ta...

I have started my shares off to a flying start. With my own knowledge and the help of the Motley Fool share advisor, I now have shares in 8 different companies. Something we didn't touch on in my Rich dad poor dad article is dividends.  Not all companies pay share holders although the bigger ones do.  Reading a blog by Richard Torres who started putting his dividends back into his investments to buy more shares.  The plan is you keep putting your dividends back in until the amount of dividends is equivalent to or more than your monthly expenditure.  This is none as passive income, 'passive' because you need do no more work to earn it.  Your money is working for you rather than you giving your time in exchange for money.  (Companies like Coca Cola  McDonald's,Britvic and so on pay dividends per share. Coca Cola has paid 8% on each share) How many banks pay 8% right now?  A word of warning share prices can and do go down and you may lose your in...

Rich dad, poor dad Inspiring you to achieve financial independence Let money work for you It's Monday afternoon my child is screaming and work has been it's usual challenging self. Looking into my bank account I need to make some serious money fast.  Whenever I have worked more than one job and got money, I have always found I have nothing to show for it at the end of the month.  Indeed like this month, I am worse off than I was with a smaller amount of money.  This is one of the first lessons of the rich dad which most people do not understand, as they always work for money rather than letting money work for them.  I agree, my plan like most people's has been to work hard get a good education so I can get a good, well-paid job.   The importance of education I am a nurse I studied Business Studies and economics at A'level when but decided to move away from this when I studied Theology at university. My driving force has always been people, the needs of othe...

Cali to the rescue My son's nursery  had a teddy bears picnic today. It was about to start, but the weather was not good and threatened to ruin it.    I offered to use Cali with her awning so everyone could keep dry while outside.   But picnic happened inside and as you can see Cali was used as the refreshment stall.  Well done Cali.  James wanted the roof up so he could sit up there. I just missed his smile when I took this photo. 

Dad with tourettes and 3 children with autism.  My anger goes from zero to 60 in 20 seconds. Normally I start off calm with the use of breathing techniques but eventually I lose it, sometimes swearing under my breath. I used to think this was due to a lack of self control but later found out I have Tourettes syndrome and have done since I was little.  After a swear word escapes my mouth I straight away say I'm sorry. Now my saying I have tourettes doesn't mean swearing is acceptable and certainly not in front of my children.  It means I have to work extra specially hard to prevent myself getting to the point of no return where I begin swearing following by apologising and the usual cycle of negative thinking Luckily I manage to swear under my breath as out of earshot of my child.  I also employ meditation, playing music and time to tic as tools to enable me to control my anger more effectively and be able to walk away when the need arises. I love my children ...

There is so much I want to impart, So much I want to say, to you my friends reading this today. Yes I'm fine I say. That is always my standard response when someone asks me how I am.  But deep inside I am not ok.  The world has turned against me, the black dog is around me again.  https://youtu.be/XiCrniLQGYc   I can think of so many public figures who seem to have life sorted (Robin William's comes to mind) when they're in fact in turmoil. I want so much to tell people how I really feel but I can't as I'm afraid they will get bored of me.  So I put on this metaphorical disguise and with smile pretend it all ok.  When deep down I just want to die. Most nights I wish not to wake up the next morning to get rid of this pain.  Along with my wife my power of 3 help me keep going.  Joel, Thomas and James are my world.  When I think of hurting myself I worry how Claire will cope without me and also I haven't yet printed out my life insurance ...

3 little boys in a Camper-van  Joel, Thomas and James were normally healthy babies.  Joel and James hit all of their milestones until approximately 18 months.  Joel stopped talking at around about the age of 18 months, Thomas never really babbled once he started walking it was as if that became his focus. James on the other hand stopped talking at about the same time as his eldest brother Joel but then began talking again.  All three boys have autism.  We always struggled with going out to restaurants.  Many times people would glare at us as our child screamed or threw food around.  However it gradually became harder and harder to get Joel and Thomas into a restaurant like McDonalds, so the drive thru was a godsend.  Eating picnics in the car was ok but it was cramped and when we had to also carry special needs buggies for both children the car became even more so then there were the nappy changes that needed to happen, having to get them...

Becoming a new you: Embrace who you are - support groups really helped me with this.  I now have a group of friends with tourettes who get me.  We sit in a bar and can be who we are rather than who we think we should be. I could tell you about where this feeling of needing to conform comes from, but I want to press forward. I have looked back to improve my understanding of who I am and to put past hurts away to prevent them from holding me back. Be careful not to set unattainable goals - (e.g) why did I make that mistake? From now on I'll not talk to anyone for example then no one can upset me won't help as it is not attainable but just sets us up to fail and keeps us in the cycle of anxiety. I want to break that cycle of anxiety but some days I just can't it is good to have all of this good advice in my head but useless if you are not in the right place to use it.  This has been the case for me many times. One pitfall to becoming a new you is expecting all of t...

The challenges of being parents to 3 gorgeous boys with autism. A difficult Saturday morning preceded by a week of full on challenges with our 3 children.  Half term was the week before.  Our other 2 children had come home from school for their half term.  My wife is amazing as she has had to deal with the boys all week without respite.  I however have been at work able to escape.  By 9am on  a Saturday morning I am already craving alcohol.  Hence the need for an Irish coffee.  During the first Monday of half term I had already found Gin. I mean I'd heard of it but suddenly took more of an interest in it.  I went to my local supermarket and contemplated what I needed to buy to keep my wife and I both sane.  That was four bottles of beer, ready made cans of gin mixed with a plethora of different tonics. Feeling sophisticated I also picked up some ready mixed Pims and lemonade. A friend suggested that I should have cleared the entire ...

As the title suggests I have a diagnosis of Dyspraxia and Tourettes.  I have overcome many challenges and want to give you the tools to do the same. Struggles in concentration, short term memory. Tools  Dictaphone, laptop, talking software for dictation and to turn words into text, and headphones. DWP access to work provide a grant to fund equipment and coaching Reasonable adjustments by the employer. The Equality Act 2010. Think of the power of broke, to succeed you have to be hungry for success and willing to go through anything to succeed.  This a paraphrase from the book entitled the power of broke.  It is about success in business however I think it equally applies to other situations in life. Situations and other people don't stop you succeeding only you can do that. That said, it is good to list your strengths and opportunities as it is easy to forget what you are good at and yes despite our view of ourselves we all have a lot to give to an empl...

On the train home now with my wife and our eldest son.  We've had a busy trip to London.  Pizza hut, the theatre, dropping to the floor a fee times when the world became too scary.  Too many people, too much noise bit he coped very well. His first trip to London without a buggy and our first to Pizza Hut with him. Walking to the sound of let me shine  An amazing song sung by other children with autism from Priors Court School. Recorded at Abbey Road last year.   "I am not broken, I am unique all I want is for you to believe in me. One step at a time, stand next to me walk by my side you and I are friends for life.  Accept me for who I am and let me shine, let me shine.  This he played wherever we went. Even the bird ladies in the Lion King performance danced to the beat and enjoyed the words  of this song. We will continue to spread awareness.

In my previous blog I talked of my children having autism. The challenges posed.  We fought hard to get two of our sons into a educational setting that can meet there needs.  I'm pleased to say that after 13 months at Priors Court School  they are doing amazingly.  Both are happy at school, they are provided with a 24hr curriculum.  The older boys are home for the holidays.  It is very challenging in terms of needing to keep a close eye on all 3 and 2 boys toilet training at the sametime is a worthwhile challenge. Our middle child also has PICA a condition where he eats non food things. (Including glass, dog faeces, mum, poisonous plants etc)  It is a constant battle to take things out of his mouth as he is very quick. I know every local authority has budget constraints but every child matters and deserves an opportunity to thrive regardless of their disability.   None of the local authority schools could provide the required environmen...

Takes courage.  Courage is a process not an achievement.  My fears are not there to hold me back but keep me safe.  However sometimes they are there for no reason except a programmed response. Other people do not make me feel a certain way, rather it is my response to those situations or people that make me feel as negatively. So far day 2 (yesterday)was challenging. I was unable to enact my new mindset I had learned.  Today my wife and I are taking our eldest to London to see the Lion King at an autism friendly showing.  He loved it last time. With iPad, snacks, a change of clothes for our son and nappies we are on the train.  He looks so excited playing Lion King music on his iPad.  My dad and step mum are looking after our other two children.  Yay I feel so happy to spend the day with our eldest. An exciting adventure feels like a day off.

Well here goes.  My first steps into blogging.  Please bear with me while I find my feet in the blogging world.  Any feedback from you would be very greatly received. As the title of the blog suggests this is my opportunity to try out some new approaches in dealing with difficult people and of course myself.  I am bit apprehensive but hope things will go ok. I have been reading a book about dealing with difficult people and decided to give it s try. Realisation I am one of those difficult people. I am passive most of the time. I hide behind cynical comments. I have unrealistic expectations of myself and always expect myself to fail. Of others I have low expectations and put others on a high pedestal thinking they are amazing.   My plan is to adopt a new mind approach  by  removing all preconceived ideas of myself and others. I can achieve and will achieve more than I think I can. I have tried this new mind approach out. When I came in ...