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A new beginning

Well here goes.  My first steps into blogging.  Please bear with me while I find my feet in the blogging world.  Any feedback from you would be very greatly received.

As the title of the blog suggests this is my opportunity to try out some new approaches in dealing with difficult people and of course myself.  I am bit apprehensive but hope things will go ok.

I have been reading a book about dealing with difficult people and decided to give it s try.

Realisation I am one of those difficult people. I am passive most of the time. I hide behind cynical comments. I have unrealistic expectations of myself and always expect myself to fail. Of others I have low expectations and put others on a high pedestal thinking they are amazing.   My plan is to adopt a new mind approach  by  removing all preconceived ideas of myself and others. I can achieve and will achieve more than I think I can. I have tried this new mind approach out. When I came in from the doctor's my youngest was having a huge meltdown, my middle son getting extremely upset in response, my wife frantically trying to calm things down. Our eldest had just removed all of his clothes and pull up again. (Toilet training plus autism) I'll explain more later. Using my new mind approach I found myself able to be present, my youngest threw some more objects at me and began hitting me. The thought of becoming upset with him came to mind but I was able to choose a new calm approach and I was focused on the present. Using patience and deep pressure massage he began to calm down until he laid down on his front.  The thought going through my head were  "I am expecting the massage not to work" but unusually this thought did not concern me. If it didn't work I would just do what I normally do and that is keep him, his brothers and my wife safe.

Later we went for a ride on disability bikes with my wife, 3 children and a carer to help out.  As my eldest ran off and exhibited challenging behaviour, I thought hard about the new mind philosophy and how my interpretations of a situation can make that situation worse.  It worked my eldest was brilliant. He didn't always listen but I managed to get him to walk back with me eventually.  I suppose this day 1.  Now for the next days.  Below a cheeky selfie of me and my eldest son. He like his brothers has autism and is non-verbal.

Have a great day and I hope you have enjoyed this first blog.  It will get better I promise.


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