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Meltdowns or a naughty child

Meltdowns verses a naughty child.

A trip to Tesco's to buy an outfit for Halloween.  James suddenly didn't want us to pay for things he wanted to leave the store.  He threw himself on the floor when I stopped him from running. The security guard watched us with an air of suspicion. 

Thoughts do I admit defeat, dump the shopping in the store and come back another time.  James still clinging onto the witched outfit.  No I went to the express checkout.  James followed me taking his coat off he screamed, everyone looked.  I announced sorry he has autism.  As we left the store refused to move. So I borrowed a basket as I thought I could carry him, his coat and the shopping.  As we walked through door still screaming he tried to grab my hair and ended up grabbing my mask and pulling it off my face. I dropped some of the shopping. The security guard concerned asked if I was ok and gave me my mask back.  I struggled to get James across the road.  My shouting as well probably made the situation worse. 


Reflecting on this was sensory overload. A baby crying, the noise of lots of people and buzzers. I was able to block out the baby noise although it did annoy me at first my rational mind telling me it is a baby. 
Why didn't I see my little boy was struggling. When I asked him later if it was too noisy in the store. He said yes 'it was too noisy daddy.' Why didn't I spot it, had it been my other two boys who have autism but are non-verbal I would have noticed.  Because he can talk we forget he has autism and developmental delay too. Physically he is a 5 year old but develoomentally he is a 2-3 year old.  People do not see this as he has a hidden disability.  I didn't see it and I have autism too. 

Why am I such a bad parent? 
Thinking back to our early bird course run by National Autistic Society, ice berg charts and star charts and the words 'all behaviour is communicating something'. James vocabulary is very good but just because a child can say the words, doesn't mean they understand them. Echolialia or copying the words they hear is the term used to describe a lot of children.  Normally he will tell me if something is too noisy but the sounds, sights and smells in the shop must been too overwhelming. All he could do was scream and tension by grabbing and biting at me.  He must have been so afraid.  He was not a noises boy but a frightened one. 


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