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The misguided path to perfection.

Perfection the road to nowhere

Are you a perfectionist?

There is nothing wrong with seeking to improve yourself or your work, but when you seek perfection holds you back through fear that is when it becomes a problem. 

I always try to be perfect or achieve my perception of perfect anyway.  The trouble with perfection, is it is a misguided idea that no one can achieve.  David Burns said 'look around, can you see anything that is completely perfect and does not need to be changed?  Thomas Aquinas told us to think of a perfect island.   In answer to both nothing is completely perfect.  You can always add an extra palm tree to an island.

This brings to my mind the thought I have to be perfect.  Everyone has to like me. Everyone must think highly of me. I should be able to create the perfect situation/environment for everyone.  I am an absolute mess,  if I don't achieve all of these things then I have failed, I am useless and I am rubbish.   Stepping back a minute I feel exhausted just thinking about the huge list of demands I place on myself every day.  No wonder I struggle so much.  

Then there is the thought that I am a fraud. I have no right to be at that zoom meeting for other men many of whom have been raped.    Ellen Hendricksen writes - These automatic thoughts are opinions there may be a small shred of truth in them but they are not the truth.   Talking to the other guys and organisers I do have the right to be there.  I was abused but it is no less sexual abuse than that of the other guys. 

The message I want to get across is,  you are valued, beautiful and loved.  Take Care

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