What you will find in this article:
The importance of categorising thoughts (Is it a thought or emotion?)
Is it a burglar or simply a cat?
Focusing inwards you may miss what is going on.
You are not alone.
It is not what happens to us that matters but how we deal with it.
My first thought was "I can't do this." "I am rubbish." Then the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Normally I would rumourate, my thoughts and mood would deteriorate.
However this time after my CBT session I tried to slow my breathing, so held my breath for 20 seconds. This redirected blood flow back to my brain so I could think clearly.
In fight or flight mode we are unable to think clearly as our blood supply to the brain is reduced. It is re-directed towards the arms and legs, so we can get ready to fight or run.
Is it a thought?
Identifying if my assertion I am rubbish, is a thought or feeling is important.
If it is a thought I can work through it If a feeling causing me to think this way then, feelings are fleeting so breathing and bearing with it is usually the answer.
In my case, I can't do this I am rubbish are thoughts. I remembered recent times when something similar happened. It all started with a message from my mentor asking me to contact her, straightaway I started thinking it is bad news. This time I decided to challenge these thoughts, by telling myself 'wait and see.´ Don't pre-empt what she will say. If it is bad news, see this as an opportunity fir growth. Besides I am new to this world Special Education advice, there is so much to learn. I can do this.
My meeting with my mentor is on Monday. I have a lot of nurse training to complete this weekend too, so I don't have time to worry. "Chronic worry steals our life. We get nothing done and feel awful about ourselves."
Also our brains tend to amplify the size of a perceived problem and reduce our perceived ability to deal with that problem.
An example:
The burglar or a Cat
I am asleep. There is no one else in the house and all the doors and windows are locked. Suddenly there is a crashing sound from the kitchen. What do I think it is?
A burglar, I creep down the stairs carrying a base ball bat and carrying my phone, the police call handler is at. the other end of the line. Slowly I open the kitchen door and come face to face with ...... a cat. I apologise to the police call handler and tell him to stand the squad car down.
This is sort of how I feel right now. I am fearing the worst case scenario (burglar) but it could turn out to be nothing to worry about. (A cat)
I am the only one
Another thing that makes my anxiety worse, is the thought that I am the only one to make such and such a mistake or need to be spoken to by my mentor.
It only feels like that because everyone else seems to be an expert. What we don't see is the times others have made mistakes before they have succeeded. Other people feel just like me but in that moment I focus in on myself. Consequently I can only hear my internal chatter and fail to see the challenges others face.
You are not alone!
Remember
It is not what happens to us that matters but how we deal with it.
Our anxiety steals our belief in ourselves. We can do this, you can do this. See my post "The importance of Mental Health" where we discuss ways to challenge our thoughts and silence that inner critic.
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